Cross Roads

Until when do I have to act fine that we've finally called it quits? I've been eating a lot of toxic positivity lately, but really, it still freaking hurts.

You want to be alone. 
For the first time, you wanted something for yourself. I can't oppose because you did everything for me— which I am always grateful for (even for those toxic request of mine wherein you'll chose me over your work), you made me feel loved each and every time, and I feel bad for being selfish— and this time, I will give you what you need. You have to deal with yourself alone. But I can't help to ask, 
how about me?

How can I automatically adjust things in which I habitually do with you?

How can I get better? 
How do I make a restart?

To be honest, being okay with it is slowly killing me.

But I don't want to be selfish. It is what you need, so I gave it to you. I hope that would make you feel better. 

I still love you though– it hurts.

I want to cry. 
I badly want tears to come out of my eyes, 
Just a little, 
Just enough to wash this pain away.

I want to bargain. 
I badly want us back;
But I guess now is not worth fighting for.

I'll just wait for that another lifetime—
If the universe would allow us two,
But for now, maybe this is what's best for us.

I hope to see you once again at the end of our different roads.